Australian food, may contain traces of what?!!

Moving from the UK to Australia, these food differences are a bit bizarre!

  • Chocolate, yak just yak. You see Dairy Milk then taste the vile monstrosity and view never again. I have to raid the European chocolate, hello Lindt you’re just usually for special occasions, but here you’re my go to for sugar and PMT fix. The limited edition honeycomb mars bar is passable, I think all the sugar makes it taste pretty good so you can’t taste the dodgy chocolate! Crunchie, after over a year I can now tolerate!
  • Tim tams? They’re like penguins, but not as good, although they come in a large variety of flavours.
  • Chicken burgers etc are mostly thigh not chicken breast – I kept getting nasty surprises!
  • Crisps are dire – someone send me a care package – I need Frisps, Discos, French Fries, Monster Munch and Kettle Chips in my life!
  • The colours are just wrong – think you’ve finally found prawn cocktail flavour crisps? That familiar pink packet will have you crying when you realise it’s really salt and vinegar. Blue packet, no it’s not cheese and onion either. Want pickled onion, forget about it!!
  • Sweets (or lollies) as they’re called here aren’t great. You’ll need to go to a British lolly shop if you want anything like fizzy dummies from back home.
  • Flavours are different – pick up a pack of skittles, yum that green apple tasted a lot nicer than the lime, but the purple one, usually my blackcurranty goodness flavour, gross just gross, some awful grape fake flavour!
  • Christmas party food sucks, you can buy mini Asian treats but that’s about it! How is it Christmas without Christmas party food?
  • Orange Fanta in the fast restaurants tastes great – just like the USA, I guessing it’s still full of nasty ingredients but I don’t care I love it! Buy it in the bottle and not so great. Bizarre!
  • Hungry Jacks (Burger King), KFC & McDonalds (or Maccas as they call it – sure you sell similar things, but just so not the same, this is enough to send me packing for home!
  • Get a burger & you’ll most likely get both BBQ & mayo on it. I don’t get it – tomato please any day!
  • Brown sauce is virtually none existent. Mint sauce you’ll need to pay a premium price for imported stuff, but they do have mint jelly. Want Thai sweet chilli sauce? Read the packaging the Australian version is just plain wrong!
  • A trip to the supermarket makes me cry, if you don’t get the Macarena song stuck in your head from all the golden oldie songs they play, then unless you’ve managed a find a superstore then kiss choice goodbye.
  • Want a vast choice of salad or fruit though and you’re in the right place.  Just watch out, the fruit doesn’t last that long.
  • You’ll definitely get to try a lot more things, I might pass on the ducks feet but have tried loads of new fruit and vegetables – pomelo makes a great cocktail!
  • Passion fruit juice? Good luck, I’m surrounded by an abundance of passion fruits – a white tart one I’ve never heard of before and those as big as an orange so why oh why no passionfruit juice?!!
    Of course you know that means no porn star martinis right?
  • Spirits mean an expensive trip to the bottle o (liquor store), but there’s plenty of wine to choose from.
  • Saving cash? Check carefully if you have allergies, you need to be sure you can drink traces of fish and eggs in your goon!
  • Get used to serving yourself in restaurants, a lot give you a buzzer to collect your own food.
  • Want your usual chicken fried rice and chips from the chippy? You’ll have to visit two shops. Get used to Chinese food not tasting anything like the Chinese food you know and love.
  • Don’t get me started on the fish & chips but at least they have more choices on the fish & if you want to be healthy you can get it grilled. Blue eyed cod tastes like chicken by the way. Someone asking about flake? That’s shark by the way, not dandruff or cocaine!
  • Fancy a sausage? Or should that be a banger, snorker or a snag! Check the contents, beef is just plain wrong, don’t get me started on chicken! Want a sausage roll? Check the ingredients, you won’t find pork sausage in that either, it’ll be a mixture of beef and mutton – WTF?!
  • You’ll think you’re in the States with eggplant and zucchini.
  • Anyone for butternut pumpkin? That’s squash to you and me!
  • Capsicum is a pepper by the way, and the red, yellow and orange variety are shockingly double the price of the green.
  • Spanish chorizo – just forget it. And imitation saffron power, wow okay then, now what would those Spaniards say? – good job Jamie Oliver didn’t use that too!!

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